ANGRY BERNIE AT BEST BUY

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Last Friday, I decided to go to Best Buy after work to check out the Wacom Tablets. After watching my work neighbor/partner, Jose, create an awesome piece of art in no time at all, I thought maybe I should buy one for myself. I owned a tablet for about a week in my time at Miami Ad School, but I returned it to get a GoPro which I haven’t used in a few years.

So, back to Best Buy. I walked into the store knowing I was in a rush. I had to go pick up a cake from Miss Patty Cakes, plus I also had to get home in time for dinner with my family. However, I still thought a quick stop at Best Buy would be fine.

There is no such thing as a “quick stop” at Best Buy for me. I took a quick 10-15 minute detour to check out movies, music and finally video games before finally making my way to the tablet section. I grabbed the Wacom Intuos Draw (the entry-level model) and walked over to the front of the store. I checked the Amazon price on my phone and it was only $0.01 cheaper so I put my phone away — no price matching necessary.

When I arrived at the front of the store I was greeted by a very long line of people. Way too long for a Friday at almost 7pm when I’m in a hurry to get home. I started walking towards the back of the line. I was on the verge of leaving the tablet in a random spot of the store, but I’m not that type of person. Also, I didn’t want to have to wait until next week to get it. I immediately noticed a second register was open with only the one person paying at it. This line was all for one register, or so I thought.

 

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I quickly skipped the long line and went straight for the other register with no line, where a customer was finishing their purchase.

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As I walked over to the non-line, an Old Angry Bernie Sanders-lookin’ Fool from the other line yelled out, “Uh, Excuse me. Don’t you see us all waiting in line?”

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*Side note: I was never going to vote for Bernie Sanders, but after this man yelled at me I will most definitely never support Bernie Sanders and it’s all because he will forever remind me of this guy. Hillary 2016! And if you don’t agree with that then you’re sexist. Also, she is the only candidate who has ever slept in the White House — for 8 years.

She’s been there, done that. She even knows which cupboard they keep the Diet Coke in. If you told Bernie where the the Diet Coke is, he’d probably forget within two hours. His whole presidency would be him trying to find where they keep the Diet Coke, with one of his White House servants constantly reminding him over and over again.

Once again, back to Best Buy. I told “Angry Bernie” that I did see him and the others waiting in a single line for the other register, but this one had no line and was fair game. Next, Angry Bernie tried to explain to me how lines work at Best Buy. I go to Best Buy a lot, like at least once a week, sometimes more. I know how the lines work. I’m a Premier Silver Reward Card Member, Angry Bernie! So, don’t try to tell me how lines work at Best Buy. It’s not a bank, there’s no velvet rope walkway. Each register has it’s own line.

Also, these two registers were on opposite sides of the same checkout counter [see exhibit a], if we would have had an [exhibit b] situation on our hands then I wouldn’t have skipped the line.

 

Whatever Angry Bernie said to me after that I cannot recall. I believe he called me rude at some point. But guess what, those people were Angry Bernie followers, and I’m my own person who chose to form my own line (in the interest of time). I’m not going to stand in his line just because they’re all afraid of Angry Bernie.

Once Angry Bernie paid he left and said nothing to me, which is how it should have been.One more thing happened after he left, though.

As I was paying, the girl who had been behind Angry Bernie had just finished paying. She walked right up to me and said, “I’m sorry about that guy. He was a real dick!” And I said, I know right! This made me feel much better, but I still had to call Elizabeth from the car to talk about this angry old idiot.

I guess the moral of the story is you don’t always have to listen to your elders, because some of them are just crazy, stupid fools. I guess you should just listen to your elder relatives, unless you know for sure that they too are crazy. In that case, don’t listen to anyone but yourself, unless you’re also crazy.

P.S. I made these artsy explanations with the help of my new Wacom Tablet, and I look forward to making more artwork with it and sharing it with you all.

Thanks, see you next week.

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