Asking for Directions

redneck

 

FL title

 

Not too long ago, I learned that people in cars are weird. I became aware when some random guy asked me for directions while driving down US1! “Hey man, I’m trying to get to the keys, do I just go straight?” (Talking to strangers while driving is probably just as unsafe as ‘texting and driving,’ maybe even worse). 

I told him, “Sure” although I wasn’t 100% sure, so I phoned a friend (actually texted a friend while driving, but I was at a red light, so I guess it was fine) to make sure I was right. I just wanted to make sure I was right for myself, if they told me I was wrong it was already too late to tell the guy. He would have ended up driving to God-knows-where. Lucky for him, I was right. 

I bet there is a better, quicker way to get to the keys, but this guy didn’t deserve to know it. First off, it’s 2014 guy! You shouldn’t be asking random drivers for directions. Get a damn iPhone, man! Second, go to any store on your way to the keys and buy a shirt! (Did I mention that this guy was driving shirtless?)

***Here are the only times a boy is allowed to drive shirtless: 

1. You are coming from the gym and your shirt got drenched in sweat

2. You are coming from the beach, and the drive home is less than 5 miles

3. You got rained on and you don’t want to get sick

4. The only way you were able to afford your car is by not buying anymore t-shirts, ever

I know for certain that any one can find a free shirt somewhere. I have tons of free shirts. Free shirts are my favorite shirts to wear.

I was driving with my windows down, which I barely do anymore, and that is why I was verbally attacked by this stranger. So, I guess the moral of this story is to always drive with the windows up, or strange shirtless dudes will ask you weird questions. Also, get an iPhone or droid, everyone!

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